High As A Kite But I Still Gotta Write!!

It's been awhile, and I am high as a kite right now. I gotta write though cuz the people need to know how to date. In all reality, without me and my blog none of you would ever find love. You're welcome. I recently had surgery on my hip which is going to take a huge chunk out of my dating tactics. How in the world am I supposed to find girls to date if I can't even walk or really leave my house?? There's always creepin on facebook?? But nah that ain't me and that gets you nowhere. Except maybe an occasional NCMO (non commital make out)  and that's not what this blog is for.
  If there has ever been a time I'm going to struggle dating it's now. What can a guy who can't walk bring to the table? It's hit me like a freight train...THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!! What girl can resist a guy with a broken hip? Wearing a wrap that looks like a diaper? No girl can resist this. I'm sure of it. I've got confidence out of the roof right now. Not to mention my eyes are swollen and i'm always scratching myself cuz i'm allergic to the medicine, pure sex appeal. Once my mom lets me leave my house, I'm going to date so many girls...
     Here's the thing, i'm stuck at home. I am so high and I have no choice but to blog cuz my final grade for this class is coming soon. Obviously I haven't been on a date cuz I can't go outside. But if you people want to know the new secret i've discovered, here it goes! Girls really do love guys who can't help themselves! Why?? Because girls are sweethearts and the relief society in them kicks in to save our poor souls! So am I saying go get surgery to score some babes? Absolutely. If you're that desperate you should definitely go break your leg. But there's no reason you should ever be THAT desperate. Will they fall in love with you? Probably not. Will they think you're kind of cute? Still no. Look in the mirror after surgery, you're not looking good. Will anything come out of it?? Duh. Cookies and Ice cream!!! Yaaaa buddy!!! Sometimes dating isn't about getting girls, sometimes dating is about something a little bit more, getting cookies!!

     Sure finding an awesome girl who wants you back would be awesome, some may even say that love is better than cookies. But at some point in every mans life, he's gotta realize getting girls is hard but getting friends that are girls is easy. They all want you in the friendzone, and the friendzone leads to treats. Treats lead to gaining weight and losing self esteem. Losing self esteem leads to desperation. Desperation leads to loss of caring. Loss of caring leads to confidence and courage beyond your wildest dreams. THAT leads to getting girls interested in you. It is a vicious cycle, but it's a cycle. So for now stick with the cookies, that's what leads to true love! I hope...

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This post is all about doing something nice for other people and the ways that benefits you in dating. You really want to know the secret to dating? It's real easy. "If you want a rad girl you gotta be a rad dude". Best advice that's ever been given to humans on this world. Okay maybe a few things trump it I suppose, but good advice none the less!
  Be an awesome person and awesome people will find you! If you're only nice to people you think are cute or cool where do you think that's going to get you? Nowhere. Friend zone tops. And you're only in the friend zone cuz they are confused where else to put you. You need to be nice to everyone and treat everyone as best you can, it's called karma. It's also called common decency but who knows what that really is these days ya know??
   I'm sure I'm not a rad dude yet, but one day I aspire to be one!! Why? Cuz I freakin want a rad chick! So what type of dating things could you do to make yourself a more rad dude you may ask...Maybe try taking out people that don't get opportunities as much as others. We all know those people who are maybe shy or new to the area, whatever the case may be it certainly wouldn't hurt to ask them out! You need to spread the love to everyone you can, and not in a weird way. If you know somebody who is awesome and doesn't hang out often, do that much. HANG OUT!!! How hard is it for us to make somebody else feel good about themselves?
   In the words of the great Ingrid Michaelson, "Everybody wants to be loved" That includes you and me! You get love by sharing love, don't be scared to put yourself out there. The more you are capable of loving others the more others will be capable of loving you. Be a likeable person. A person who isn't afraid of hanging out or dating someone that may lower their "social ranking". I know you're thinking that my social ranking is already bottom of the barrel so it's easy for me to say. This is true. But its still pretty solid council regardless!!
  Take it or leave it, but remember, "If you want a rad girl you gotta be a rad dude!"