High As A Kite But I Still Gotta Write!!

It's been awhile, and I am high as a kite right now. I gotta write though cuz the people need to know how to date. In all reality, without me and my blog none of you would ever find love. You're welcome. I recently had surgery on my hip which is going to take a huge chunk out of my dating tactics. How in the world am I supposed to find girls to date if I can't even walk or really leave my house?? There's always creepin on facebook?? But nah that ain't me and that gets you nowhere. Except maybe an occasional NCMO (non commital make out)  and that's not what this blog is for.
  If there has ever been a time I'm going to struggle dating it's now. What can a guy who can't walk bring to the table? It's hit me like a freight train...THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME!! What girl can resist a guy with a broken hip? Wearing a wrap that looks like a diaper? No girl can resist this. I'm sure of it. I've got confidence out of the roof right now. Not to mention my eyes are swollen and i'm always scratching myself cuz i'm allergic to the medicine, pure sex appeal. Once my mom lets me leave my house, I'm going to date so many girls...
     Here's the thing, i'm stuck at home. I am so high and I have no choice but to blog cuz my final grade for this class is coming soon. Obviously I haven't been on a date cuz I can't go outside. But if you people want to know the new secret i've discovered, here it goes! Girls really do love guys who can't help themselves! Why?? Because girls are sweethearts and the relief society in them kicks in to save our poor souls! So am I saying go get surgery to score some babes? Absolutely. If you're that desperate you should definitely go break your leg. But there's no reason you should ever be THAT desperate. Will they fall in love with you? Probably not. Will they think you're kind of cute? Still no. Look in the mirror after surgery, you're not looking good. Will anything come out of it?? Duh. Cookies and Ice cream!!! Yaaaa buddy!!! Sometimes dating isn't about getting girls, sometimes dating is about something a little bit more, getting cookies!!

     Sure finding an awesome girl who wants you back would be awesome, some may even say that love is better than cookies. But at some point in every mans life, he's gotta realize getting girls is hard but getting friends that are girls is easy. They all want you in the friendzone, and the friendzone leads to treats. Treats lead to gaining weight and losing self esteem. Losing self esteem leads to desperation. Desperation leads to loss of caring. Loss of caring leads to confidence and courage beyond your wildest dreams. THAT leads to getting girls interested in you. It is a vicious cycle, but it's a cycle. So for now stick with the cookies, that's what leads to true love! I hope...