Haunted Hotness!! Mmmmm

Today we'll delve into two wonderful life lessons I learned in the dating realm this past weekend. First, one wonderful way to ask a girl on a date is to do absolutely nothing. Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense...it doesn't have to! Nobody reads my blog anyway! But it's actually a real concept. Get somebody who knows you and the girl you want to take on a date and have them set you up! Your friends will know if you and a mutual friend of theirs will be compatible. They'll be able to talk you up and keep you out of the creeper status, a lonely haunted place.
     If you're looking to take out a pretty girl, always rely on friends. It takes all the pressure off you and keeps things fairly casual. Let's be honest, it isn't easy for most of us to just walk up to a random stranger. Let alone a stranger we think is gorgeous, so sometimes it's a good idea to hand off the baton and let your friend do the talking so you look as smooth and creamy as peanut butter!
     Second of the two life lessons, take them to a haunted house! It's genius! I don't know why I've never thought of it before now. It makes it very easy for people to feel comfortable. Your scared, they're scared and you've got no choice but to let them know that you've just wet yourself. Not to mention the one thing you're all thinking...it allows physical contact without it being awkward or uncomfortable. If you don't like physical contact with an attractive human please comment below. I'm positive nobody will, because nobody genuinely bothers to read all this garbage and everyone loves getting snuggly next to a beautiful person. Try it, I promise you won't regret it at all. And if you do regret it, that sucks, do something different the next time around!
     This is one of the best dates I've been on in a very long time and I would recommend this tactic to anyone wanting to take someone on a date that they don't really know. Or even if you do know them, it's still worth it.
    A few keys to remember:
1. Have a friend do the asking
2. Go to a haunted house
3. Don't be creepy (ever)
4. Don't take things too serious and you'll have a better time
5. Say your prayers (duh)

Swing and a miss...

I hate blogging. Glad I got that off my chest!! But ya know what's worse than blogging, being shut down 4 different times in 1 day...Which is exactly what happened to me last wednesday. The thing is our whole apartment got shut down, I just got shut down the most. So instead, we went on an all guys date to Texas Roadhouse, no homo. I think the key thing to remember in this situation is to keep your head up as Tupac once said. Just realize it's not the end of the day if a girl can't go on a date with you or just plain doesn't want to go on a date with you. Maybe she just thinks you're ugly and you have no soul. If that's the case, seek medical help immediately. If it's just bad timing but you're still feeling down in the dumps take advice from my dear friend maria, think of a few of your favorite things. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens"...you know the song, if you don't you need to watch a little more Sound of Music you uncultured animal! But really though, if you do get denied or shut down it's not the end of the world. Stay confident and try again the next day or the next time you see a girl you want to take on a date. A key point to remember however is to let go. When you ask a girl and she says she can't or she doesn't want to, give up. GIVE UP. Don't you dare keep trying and guilt trip her into going with you, she clearly doesn't think you're attractive and you've already given her negative vibes. Stop while you're ahead. Good things come to those that wait, so wait and possibly you'll snatch yourself a marlin who wants to be caught by a fine fisherman like yourself!

simpiclity is a mystery

Simplicity. Who knew that snatchin' a babe only required simple tactics? I think I've always hyped it up in mind, as a lot of us do. As though we need some huge elaborate scheme where we trick the girl into dating us, otherwise they'll spit on our boots and send us on our way. MESSED UP. This weekend, however, I tried a new tactic I've never implemented before...straightforwardness! I saw a cute girl at a local restaurant and I was trying to figure out how I could get a pretty girl like her to go out with a bum such as myself. My friends and I thought of all these things that are manly and appealing to women. I could simply blow snot rockets everywhere and get myself noticed, getting your foot in the door is always the hardest part. That tactic is too risky though, what if she's a normal human being who's appalled by the ol' farmers blow? Nope, for this girl we needed something special. But what could I possibly do!? After what seemed like days I finally came to a simple conclusion, I walked up and asked for a date. I stumbled like a bubbling bafoon but I got out what I needed to say, and to my astonished surprise, she said absolutely!! The power in simply asking is often downplayed, but one of the biggest keys to asking a girl out is not overthinking it. Keep it casual and you could get lucky!!