Why hike, when you can hike the Y!?

Hiking the Y, what a wonderful date idea ladies and gentlemen! So leading up to this date, I'm not going to lie, I was NOT excited! I HATE blind dates and I haven't been on a date in quite awhile, figured I was quite off my game. Then I remembered, I never had game anyway and my date would have to be blind to want to go with me, this was perfect. So we went to pick them up, I had a final the next day so I was just hoping this wouldn't last long, maybe we could run up the Y? Again, I remembered I'm quite out of shape so that just won't work...And then the exciting part, the meeting of the girls. This can go one of two ways, they could be absolutely gorgeous with great personalities, or they could be psychopathic women with the intent to kill every man in Provo. Luckily for us, they were the beautiful type.
We hiked, and hiked, and hiked and naturally, being a hefty fellow, I sweat as much as I hiked. If any of you have met me, you know that when I breathe I sound like an overgrown orangutan that has been held under water for 5 minutes too long. Let's just say it was a little worse while hiking. I wanted to talk to her, she was perfect, but all I could get out were strange noises that you may hear while listening to Chewbacca. Finally we made it to the top, where we had two genius ideas planned out: Eat warheads so our faces contort into something a long the lines of somebody getting over a potion of poly-juice potion, and hit glow in the dark golf balls off the top of the Y. Two problems, my face seemed to be the only messed up by the extreme sour. Also, the glow in the dark golf balls, didn't exactly glow in the dark so who knows where they ended up. When on dates, first dates especially, always do something that makes you look good. Golfing, for me, does quite the opposite. Which is why I'd like to thank the sun for going down just in time, nobody could tell that I missed the ball and actually just hit the dirt, leaving the golf ball to roll down the mountain somewhere. What's even worse, mine and my amigos dates may as well have been Tiger Woods and company. They hit it like they had hit it a thousand times before.
Finally we head down, and despite how stupid I've looked I've actually really enjoyed myself. There are few times where I go on a date, and really enjoy the date. She's made me laugh and hasn't said anything like, "Wow, you are really out of shape aren't you? You should probably see a doctor before your hypertension sets in." This has gone much better than expected, in fact I've forgotten about that final and I'd much rather stay here. We say goodnight, exchange the necessary hugs and leave. Then we realize something essential, we forgot to get their numbers, one of the few success stories a
nd we blow it in the fourth quarter!!! Did she feel the same way, doubtful. But that remains unknown since her phone number is lost in the wind somewhere, waiting for Rico Suave to come sweep her off her feet. So gentlemen, learn from my mistakes.
1. If you go on a hike, great job! But make sure you aren't physically incapable of such a feat...
2.If you want glow in the dark golf balls, don't put them in glow sticks 3-4 hours before, they won't glow.
3. Last but not least, if you had a good time, GET HER NUMBER!! Or just go home, wallow in self-pity, eat a 24 count of goldfish baggies, and pray that luck will find you down the road.

If you don't follow number three just watch the end of dumb and dumber and realize that's your life.
In the words of the great Harry and Lloyd, "Wow, two lucky guys are going to be driving around with those girls for the next couple of months." "Yeah, we'll catch our break too, we just got to keep our eyes open."