Ron Weasley, The friend zones finest.

Ron Weasley, Chandler Bing, Jim Halpert...What is it that these three fictional characters have in common?? They were once stuck in the dreaded friend zone! Like the different zones of the atmosphere or the ocean, there are different levels of friend zones; And these men were in the deepest abyss one could possibly fathom. The friend zone is a place many have been, but very few have escaped. It's as though the girl is standing there with her staff, screaming, "You shall not pass!" So what makes these three men mentioned above any different than the rest of us miserable kooks locked in the fiery hell hole!? The answer is simple: persistence. They never gave up, and if obstacles got in the way they kept going for it anyway. Not to mention the lovely appearance of being satisfied with their position in life. It's as if they had mastered the art of showing they were fine in the friend zone, when in fact nobody is okay here.
 I don't know what is worse, gollums lifelong thirst for his "precious" or the constant longing to love someone who only sees you as her brother. If anybody has lived this torturous fate long enough to talk about it, it's me. I have been trapped in a tantalizingly terrible tomb, alive, trying to crawl my way out. I've been on date after date and at the end of the night there is no doorstep scene, merely a pat on the back with a cute, "thanks buddy" as a sign of gratitude for my FRIENDSHIP. You may as well stick me in the wizarding world, only to be a squib. Having all the hope of magic, yet the results don't end how you've intended them to.
Similarly to Ron Weasley and Jim Halpert, however, I am a relentless steed. I don't like much, so when I find something that catches my eye it consumes me! I lingered around for 1 year and 7 months...I basically waited for a missionary, but the sister missionary was here the whole time. How degrading. I was like Augustus from  Fault in Our Stars, I may be just a friend to her, but she's not.

Well I am delighted to say that with a lot of patience, persistence, and a swish and flick of the wand...I've done it! I'VE ESCAPED THE FRIENDZONE ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!! I looked death in the eye and chose to live. I finally slithered my way into the spot that before I could only dream of. Discovering the girl of my dreams was child's play. Getting her to discover me, that was a longer journey than I care to admit. So, Ron and Jim, I now know what it feels like to walk in your shoes. I've got to admit, it's glorious and quite worth the wait ladies and gentlemen. 
To all of you young nuggets out there stuck in the clouds of what seems a fantasy, keep going and soldier on buddy, it'll work out one way or another!