Valentine's Day Sax? Mmmhmm

I know some of you with dirty minds look at that title and think I made a typo...however, I said what I meant to say, because that's what John Mayer taught me to do.
As the lovely holiday of Valentines day is coming up, and this is a dating blog, I figured what better opportunity to spread some dating ideas before the big day! Naturally, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I thought of the most elaborate idea I could. It involved elephants, a boat in Venice, and last but not least, a nice bottle of red wine. The only problem is, I don't own any elephants, I'm much too poor to go to Venice and I don't drink. Alas, here I am, back to the drawing board. BAM! I thought of it! If I can't go to Italy I'll make Italy come to me!!!
How does one go about making Italy come to them you may ask? Simple, much more simple than walking into Mordor. You find a girl, a lovely girl. One who has gone to Italy to study the finest cuisine. I knew the perfect woman, my roommates baby girl! So, naturally, I would use him to go on a "double date" and let him know that his sweetest girl would be cooking the food! Perfect idea? I think so. But everyone does Italian food on Valentines day, that, or a disfigured heart shaped pizza from 5 buck.
 So is that really ROMANTIC? Nahhh. I need something more, something spectacular, I need Brian Clancy. If you don't know Brian Clancy you should, he's my other roommate and one of the best lovers to ever walk the earth, next to Ross/Rachel (Friends) and Cory/Topanga (Boy Meets World). Brian has a set of skills, skills that make him a dream for romantics everywhere. Fancy Clancy is a wizard at the Saxophone! What screams sex appeal to a woman more than some sexy sax man!? I reckon nothin'. Maybe a flute. But nonetheless it is still top 2! So I asked him, and he said....YES!!! Brian Clancy is going to play some saxophone while we eat a nice, professionally made, Italian meal. And then to top it all off, maybe send up a few of those floating lanterns? Tangled speaks to people. Who doesn't want to fall in love with a girl who has magic hair? And Flynn Rider! Need I say more!? The perfect romantic night and all I have to do is find a date and show up!

Will I find a date and show up? No. Probably not. Because I seem to like writing about wonderful things rather than making them happen. I figure, heck, I may as well learn to play the flute that night. At least then I can strap on my Bow and Arrows, chill at bus stops, and wow onlookers everywhere I go. Sooo if anybody has a beautiful girl to take on a date for Valentines but is unsure of what to do, Brian Clancy is available and ready to set the mood you desire. Whether you want a ravishing romance or a casual cuddle, he always gets the job done.

Forever alone